


Remember Who I Was.

by cutenewt



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesiac Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Emotional, Falling In Love, Family, Friendship/Love, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Mystery, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow To Update, Slow Updates, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 22:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13867632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutenewt/pseuds/cutenewt
Summary: Steve has never — and, never will — forgive himself for that day. He was supposed to go for a walk with Barnes, so that they could sketch together on the cliffs. Steve had a terrible headache that morning, so he’d declined the offer. Of course, Bucky didn’t mind. But, Rebecca wanted to go instead and that caused the initial argument. Their Grandmother had said she needed to wait until she was older, so they’d agreed to do some painting together in the garden after how upset she’d gotten. She was jealous that Bucky and Steve always did fun things together, and Steve had called her “stupid” for having such a ridiculous tantrum. After that he’d fallen asleep, and they’d all assumed that Bucky went to sketch on his own.That was the last anyone ever saw of him.





	Remember Who I Was.

Staring out at the rain has always been one of his favourite things. It’s always given him a sense of peace, no matter how hard the rain may start to pour. So, it isn’t at all surprising that this is where she finds him — sat cross legged in the sand, letting the heavens that have opened drown him on previously dry land. Her anorak is buttoned up right to the top, and she’s struggling against the wind to keep her umbrella open. But, he’s oblivious to her total struggle. Just sat there. Not moving.

“Steve!” She yells over the noise of the storm. “Please, come inside! This isn’t what he’d want for you!” Her voice seems to get carried off by the wind, and she has no idea if he even knows of her presence yet.

The woman reaches down and touches his shoulder, earning a flinch as a reaction. She crouches down beside him, but his head simply hangs lower. “Steve,” her voice is close enough to be heard for sure. “Please, let’s talk inside.”

“I just don’t want to feel anymore. I want to feel numb,” his teeth chatter against one another, but his sentence is coherent. “Go away, Rebecca. It’s cold out here.”

“You’re gonna feel more than numb if you catch pneumonia!” She grabs his arm, and yanks him to his feet.

Strangely enough, Steve allows her to pull him all the was across the beach and back towards the cottage. It’s a contradiction at its best — a place full of such happy memories, now surrounded by a deafening storm and floods of tears. They manage to get inside eventually, and Rebecca tugs off her wet overgarments. She locks the door, and the previous roar of the rain becomes dull again. It leaves an incessant ringing inside of Steve’s ears.

“Talk to me. This isn’t what he would have wanted, you know that.” Her voice is so soft, but that’s not what Steve needs right now.

He shakes his head, sitting down on the floor again. His knees become hugged tight to his chest, and he screws his eyes shut. Maybe if he stays here long enough, he’ll just wake up and it will have all been a dream. “He’s gone,” the tone starts of as barely a whisper. “He’s gone and it’s all my fault!” A burst of emotions ripples against the surface, and Steve starts to yell until it physically pains him. That’s what he wants. It’s what he deserves to feel.

His sobs overpower the sound of the fading storm outside of the cottage. Rebecca tries to comfort him, as he lowers himself into a small ball on the floor and finally stops screaming about how it’s all his fault. She wraps her arms around him, crying silently alongside his shivering body.


End file.
